Over Me or Just Mad? How to Decode Your Ex’s True Feelings

Breaking up is hard enough, but the confusion that follows? That’s a whole different level of emotional chaos. One day, your ex is liking your posts, the next, they’re ignoring your texts. Are they over you? Or just mad? And more importantly—should you care?

If you’ve been stuck in the limbo of “Do they still have feelings for me, or am I just overthinking?”—you’re not alone. In this guide, we’ll help you decode your ex’s behavior, so you can stop obsessing, gain clarity, and decide what to do next.

Signs Your Ex is Over You

Sometimes, the truth is plain and simple: they’ve moved on. If your ex is doing these things, chances are they’re over the relationship (and you should be too!).

1. They Don’t Engage with You Anymore

Once upon a time, they used to watch your stories within seconds of posting. Now? Crickets. If they’ve stopped liking, commenting, or reacting to anything you put online, it’s likely they’ve detached emotionally.

Pro Tip:

Resist the urge to post thirst traps just to get their attention. If they care, they’ll notice without the extra effort.

2. They’ve Started Dating Someone New (For Real This Time)

If your ex has moved on to a new relationship and it’s not just a rebound, they’re probably done emotionally. Especially if they don’t try to rub it in your face.

3. They’re Happy Without You

If they genuinely seem happier, more at peace, and don’t bring you up in conversations (mutual friends are great for this intel), it’s a strong sign they’ve moved on.

4. They Don’t Respond or Keep It Short

A cold, indifferent “Hope you’re well” or a simple “thanks” after you reach out? That’s a sign they’re not interested in reopening old doors.

5. They Set Boundaries

They’re clear about wanting space, not wanting to meet up, or asking you not to contact them. This means they’ve put their healing first.


Signs Your Ex is Just Mad, Not Over You

On the other hand, some exes aren’t over you—they’re just upset. If they’re acting out, it could be their way of dealing with unresolved feelings.

6. They Go Out of Their Way to Ignore You

There’s a difference between naturally moving on and aggressively pretending you don’t exist. If they’re making a point to snub you in public, it might be their way of dealing with hurt.

7. They’re Posting Subtle (or Not-So-Subtle) Digs

Cryptic tweets? Sad song lyrics? Over-the-top happy posts that scream “I’M DOING GREAT”? If they’re posting things that seem oddly directed at you, they’re probably not over it yet.

8. They Keep Bringing You Up to Mutual Friends

If your name keeps popping up in conversations—whether in a good or bad way—it means you’re still on their mind.

9. They Unfollow, Then Re-Follow

The classic emotional seesaw. If they’re unfollowing, blocking, then suddenly re-following you, it means they can’t fully let go.

10. They’re Jealous

If they react negatively to seeing you with someone new, they still have feelings (even if they don’t admit it).


How to Handle the Situation

Now that you (hopefully) have a better idea of where your ex stands, what do you do next?

11. If They’re Over You, Accept It and Move On

Harsh, but true. If they’ve moved on, so should you. The more time you spend analyzing their behavior, the less time you spend focusing on your own healing.

Pro Tip:

Unfollow, mute, or delete their number if seeing them affects your peace.

12. If They’re Just Mad, Give Them Space

If they’re acting out, the best thing you can do is… nothing. Let them process their emotions without feeding into the drama.

13. Focus on Yourself

Instead of wondering if they still care, shift the focus to you. What do you want? How can you grow from this? What makes you happy outside of them?

14. Avoid Playing Games

Posting to make them jealous, pretending to be over it when you’re not—it only prolongs the healing process. Be real with yourself.

15. Talk It Out (If Necessary)

If there’s unresolved tension and you’re both open to a mature conversation, consider clearing the air. But only if it will bring closure, not reopen wounds.

16. Don’t Mistake Anger for Love

Just because your ex is mad doesn’t mean they want to get back together. Sometimes, they’re just struggling to let go.

17. If They Reach Out, Be Honest with Yourself

If your ex suddenly texts you at 2 AM, ask yourself: Is this a good idea? Just because they miss you doesn’t mean they’re right for you.

18. Set Your Own Boundaries

Decide what you’re comfortable with. Do you want to be friends? Do you need space? Don’t let their emotions dictate your healing process.

19. Remember Why You Broke Up

It’s easy to romanticize the past when you’re feeling nostalgic. But if the breakup happened for valid reasons, don’t ignore them now.

20. Trust Your Gut

At the end of the day, you probably already know the answer. Trust yourself to make the best decision for your emotional well-being.


Final Takeaway: Put Yourself First

Whether your ex is completely over you or just mad, the most important thing is how you move forward. Their feelings are theirs to handle—you don’t have to get caught up in the back-and-forth. Focus on healing, growing, and becoming the best version of yourself.

And remember: If an ex is meant to stay in your life, they will. If not, there’s someone (or something) better waiting for you.

RUP Team
About RUP Team

The RUP Team is a passionate group of relationship experts dedicated to helping you understand love and relationships. As a team, we provide insightful dating advice, practical relationship tips, and a range of content to help you build stronger, healthier connections. Let the RelationUp Team be your guide for improving communication, strengthening bonds, and finding love.

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