There is no standard way to make a move on a girl.
Many factors can influence your approach, so your best bet is to be prepared for all situations.
You should be able to take action regardless of where you are – in a public or private setting, and quickly determine whether she’s interested or not.
Sounds like a lot of work, doesn’t it? You might think this way now.
But, by the end of the article, you’ll know how to use any environment in your favor and read the signs she’s giving you.
Let’s get started!
5+ Ways to Make a Move on a Girl:
Situation A: Making a Move in a Public Setting
1. Approach her friends first
Most guys are terrified to approach a girl when she’s surrounded by her friends. They imagine the worst-case scenario and get discouraged.
Can you relate?
If you do, then I dare you to change your perspective: Look at her friends as your wingmen/wingwomen.
Use a pretext and start talking to them in a friendly manner. Ask them questions about your environment or ask for recommendations.
Act casually, introduce yourself, and talk to them as you would talk to your friends. Even if they’re strangers and their impression of you matters, they are still people like you.
2. Transition to one-on-one conversation
While you ask her friends different questions, pay attention to her. Does she seem interested in the general discussion or is she doing something else?
In case she looks at you, makes eye contact, and participates in the conversation, she could be interested. If that’s the case, then transition to a one-on-one conversation with her.
Highlight something she says and then ask for more details.
What if she doesn’t say much, but seems interested? Find an opportunity to talk to her, such as asking for her help. Use your environment to come up with ideas.
3. Break the ice with humor
Humor is appropriate in most situations, so don’t hesitate to use it!
Say something funny to make her and her group laugh. If you do, you’ll hit two targets with one arrow – her friends will like you and she’ll feel more attracted to you.
Laughter and attraction are closely related. A 2005 study found that women prefer men who can make them laugh. They feel more attracted to them compared to those who can’t.
So, don’t be afraid to say something silly if the setting allows it. Making fun of yourself also goes.
Example: Hi, sorry to interrupt! Can anyone tell me please what it says under…? My eyes may be pretty, but I’m blind as a bat.
4. Make her laugh multiple times
Keep trying to say things that make her smile or laugh repeatedly. Build on whatever you said last that had a positive effect on her.
I promise it will be worth it. A more recent study (2015) by Christine Metz Howard revealed that making a woman laugh multiple times increases your chances of going on a date with her.
She will like you more and more just because you can put a smile on her face. Pretty cool, right?
My boyfriend charmed me with his one-line jokes and question-and-answer jokes. You can find a few question-and-answer jokes below – maybe they’ll work for you as well.
Q: Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself?
A: Because it’s two-tired!
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta.
Situation B: Making a Move When She’s Alone
5. Get physically closer to her
To make a move on a girl when she’s alone, you should get physically close to her, but not too close.
Invading her personal space right from the start is not a good idea. Touching neither. Even so, you still have to be close enough to her to have a conversation.
Maintain an arm’s length between you and her, making sure she can hear you without having to raise your voice.
In this way, she won’t think you’re threatening and she’ll hear you out. She’ll also get to see you closely enough to determine whether she’s physically attracted to you or not.
6. Make eye contact and smile
As you walk to her, make sure she notices your intention by making eye contact with her and smiling.
At this point, you don’t want to create a sense of urgency by looking too serious as if you are in a life-or-death situation.
On the contrary, you should use the first seconds you have to make a good first impression. According to a 2003 study smiling at her will make her feel special without knowing why.
On top of that, according to a 1998 study, making prolonged eye contact is highly effective in creating positive and passionate feelings between two people.
7. Lightly touch her in a friendly way
To quickly figure out if the girl likes you or is simply polite, lightly touch her arm or shoulder during laughter or with a pretext, such as a lint on her jacket.
If she seems comfortable with your touch, that’s great news! But if she pulls back, it means she’s either undecided or doesn’t like you.
Physical contact is an intimate gesture, after all. However, it’s also a revealing gesture that makes your intentions subtly known.
Touching comes naturally between two people who are attracted to each other. So, you have to give it a shot.
I’ve shared some tips in my article that may help you with flirting part: How to Flirt with a Girl? (In Person or Over Text)
8. Adjust your tone of voice
When you approach a girl, your attitude must be casual, confident, and relaxed. The same goes for your tone of voice.
Without even realizing it, you might talk too loud or your pitch might be higher than usual. Or maybe you talk too fast or too slow.
All these aspects matter. Your desired result is a deep, calm, soft, and inviting masculine voice.
To achieve it, you can practice alone or with a friend. Have some fun roleplaying and switching between roles. You’ll both learn something useful.
Situation C: Making a Move at a Party or Event
9. Offer to get drinks or food for her
Various parties and events are amazing opportunities to make a move on a girl. You don’t need much introduction and you can easily find things to do together.
On top of that, girls who attend parties and events are there to have fun, meet people, socialize, and maybe more (depending on the setting), a fact that makes things easier for you.
So, take your interaction with any girl further by offering her a drink or food – if it’s appropriate. She will accept it if she enjoys talking to you and wants to spend more time with you.
10. Invite her to dance with you
Are you a good dancer? If so, then you should invite her to the dance floor with you.
Are you a little rusty when it comes to dancing? Even if you are, you should still invite her to dance with you.
I want to remind you that your goal is to make a move on her, not impress her with your skills – for now.
She will see your invitation as a sign of interest and that’s enough for you.
Don’t wait for a slow song to invite her. At first, it would be best if little to no touching is involved.
11. Go someplace quiet to talk
Parties are usually loud. So loud that you can’t have a proper conversation with anyone.
That’s why going someplace quiet to talk, like outside for a breath of fresh air or a cigarette is a good idea.
If she accepts drinks or dances with you, you can confidently express your interest and curiosity in finding out more about her.
To be courteous, offer her your jacket if it’s chilly outside, open doors for her, act like a gentleman, etc.
Maintain a positive and enthusiastic attitude during the conversation and ask her open-ended questions.
Situation D: Making a Move via Text/DM
12. Talk about fun and exciting things
When you communicate with a girl in writing, your focus should lie on picking fun and exciting things to talk about.
To stand out from the other guys who are texting or DM-ing her, you should say something more than “Hey, what’s up?”
Your messages should make her feel something. You can choose to make her laugh, ask her a thought-provoking question, or refer to something you’ve already talked about.
Choose feel-good topics, show enthusiasm, and be positive!
13. Give her personalized compliments
Who doesn’t love compliments? You can’t go wrong when you compliment a woman! Or, can you?
Actually, you can!
A 2017 study found that women are no longer impressed by plain compliments. What’s more, they don’t appreciate compliments related to their possessions.
In simpler words, telling her she’s beautiful, pretty, and attractive, and commenting on her other physical features might not have the wanted effect.
What to say instead?
Say nice things about the features that make her unique. Highlight her uniqueness in a creative and original manner.
14. Use emojis and GIFs to convey emotion
If talking in person with a girl allows you to use body language such as a smile or a wink to show emotion, you can’t do that in writing.
That’s why it’s necessary to use emojis and GIFs. But don’t use them instead of words, add them to your messages to emphasize your emotions.
Also, use emojis and GIFs to flirt. There are many slightly suggestive options that you can safely use if she’s giving you positive signals.
Some GIFs are very funny, so if you want to make her laugh, you have many options to choose from.
15. Interact with her in real life
Does she respond positively to your messages? If she does, it means it’s time to transition from texting or chatting online to real-life interactions.
How?
You can continue to build rapport with her and ask her for a coffee or a similar casual activity, or if you feel confident, you can ask her out on a date.
If you’ve never met IRL, you might want to take things slowly. Suggest a public place that’s easy for her to reach, somewhere she feels safe.
Situation E: Making a Move on a Female Friend
16. Find out where you stand with her
Making a move on a female friend is a bit delicate.
On the one hand, you don’t want to ruin your friendship. On the other hand, you like her more than a friend and want to take things to the next level with her.
So what should you do? You can find out directly from her by either asking her or writing her a note or text, depending on whether you see each other in person or not so much.
You can begin by paying her a few romantic compliments – nothing too cheesy, express your doubt whether she likes you or not, and if she does, say you’d like to go out sometime.
17. Respectfully express your feelings
If she says YES: Plan a nice first date and be ready to tell her how you feel about her. Use simple words to honestly describe how she makes you feel.
Don’t go for overly romantic declarations of love if that’s not the case. Also, don’t assume she’s made up her mind about you just because she said yes to a date.
Respectfully express your feelings for her to make sure she understands you want to be more than friends with her.
18. Extend your usual interactions
Since you’re friends with this girl, you might already feel comfortable hugging and touching each other. You probably give each other friendly nudges and kisses on the cheek.
To gradually transition from being just friends to more, hug her for longer than usual. Or, put your arm around her waist or shoulders as you walk next to each other and see how she reacts.
If her reactions are positive, you can try to kiss her on the lips, be more affectionate, and hold her hand. When in doubt, check in. Ask for her consent.
Situation F: Making a Move on a Date
19. Hold her hand
First dates can be nerve-wracking due to uncertainty.
You might not be able to think objectively because she makes you nervous and as a result, you might not know how to initiate physical contact or if she wants it.
Even so, you have to try! Try to initiate hand-holding while you take a walk, sit on a bench, or at the movies. Lightly brush your hand against hers, and if she’s not pulling it away, then grab it!
Or, simply say, “Let’s hold hands!” or “I’d like to hold your hand if that’s ok.” Smile and be confident while saying it.
20. Give her a friendly hug and kiss
Even if a girl accepts to go on a date with you, this doesn’t mean she wants or is ready for physical affection.
That’s why you should start with friendly gestures such as a kiss on the cheek and/or a hug and gauge her reaction.
Andrew K. Gulledge, Michelle H. Gulledge, and Robert F. Stahmann conducted a study on how important physical affection is in a romantic relationship and they found that it leads to greater satisfaction.
So, you have all the reasons to break the touch barrier with her.
21. Check in after every move
Let’s say you put your arm around her shoulder as you take a walk with her and she doesn’t pull away.
To make sure she likes it, say something like, “I like to feel your body close to mine. Is it okay if I hold you like that?”
Or, let’s say that as you sit close to each other, you start stroking her hair. Say, “I like how soft your hair feels. Do you like it when I play with your hair?”
Or, let’s say you try something new and instead of a peck on the lips, you give her a French kiss. Ask, “Do you like that? Should I keep going?”
Checking in is a considerate thing to do and sometimes, it’s better to check in twice than not at all.
22. Respect her boundaries
What if she says “no”? In case you do something she doesn’t like, stop doing it.
What if she says “not now” or “maybe later”? Respect her boundaries and wait for her to initiate physical contact.
These aspects are non-negotiable.
I’ve had my fair share of pushy guys and I hated when that happened. I disliked them and ended up avoiding them. She might do the same if you don’t respect her boundaries.
Summary
By now you should have a better idea of how to make a move on a girl in various situations.
If she’s with friends, talk to them first. If she’s at a party, offer a drink and dance with her. If she’s alone, smile, make eye contact, and flirt.
Make a move on her in writing by saying fun things and complimenting her. And if she’s a female friend and you want something more, respectfully express your feelings.
Maintain a respectful attitude throughout your interactions with any girl and take her boundaries into account. Don’t get touchy-feely unless she’s comfortable with it!
That’s it! You’re good to go!
