Has your ex already started a new relationship … even though the two of you only just broke up?
There’s a chance they could be in a rebound relationship.
Empirical studies have shown that one of the core reasons someone dives straight into a new relationship after ending one is in order to boost self-confidence and self-worth. They want to prove to themselves that they are still desirable. Other studies have shown that rebound relationships can even last up to a whole year – but 90% of them still end in disaster.
If you’re curious as to whether or not your ex is in a rebound relationship, join us as we take a look at the key signs you need to look out for.
What’s a Rebound Relationship?
A person uses a rebound relationship to escape from their feelings and responsibilities. They’re in emotional pain right now and instead of grieving over what they’ve lost, they want to numb the pain and use a relationship as a quick fix/distraction.
It’s pretty shallow and selfish of them because the other person doesn’t know about any of this. They might think that the other person genuinely loves them.
However, this type of relationship is almost always driven by lust or infatuation and it comes with minimal emotional expectations.
7 Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship
Naturally, you can’t see how much of themselves your ex is giving in their relationship in terms of their emotions, their feelings and their vulnerabilities. This can make it hard for you to determine whether this is a rebound relationship or not.
In this section, we’ll be taking a look at the 6 key signs your ex is in a rebound relationship.
1. It Hasn’t Been Long Since You Two Broke Up
If you guys literally broke up a month ago (or even a few weeks ago) and your ex is already in a new relationship, it’s probably a rebound.
This is especially the case if you two were together a long time and the relationship was based on true love. Your ex clearly isn’t allowing themselves to get over you but has entered into a fresh relationship in order to hold onto their self-esteem.
2. Their New Partner is the Polar Opposite Of You
If your ex’s new partner is nothing like you, it suggests that they’re trying to numb themselves from the pain.
It could also suggest they’re experimenting with someone who isn’t their type, which further suggests that this isn’t actually a serious relationship – it’s just an experiment on their part. They want to “let their hair down” and try something different for a bit.
It doesn’t always work but it can help them let off a bit of steam before they realize they’ve made a mistake.
3. They Are Very Vocal About Their New Relationship
When someone gets into a rebound relationship, they want the whole world to know! They’ll post selfies on social media, alongside videos and cute memes of them and their “loved-up” partner.
This is almost always driven by them and not their partner.
Why? Because they want to project the idea that they’re doing well (better than you) and that they’ve already moved on.
The reality is that they’re convincing no one (not even themselves) and that this is nothing more than a rebound relationship.
4. They Are Taking Things Too Fast In Terms of Commitment and Intensity
Imagine you and your ex only broke up a week ago. You can’t imagine being with anyone else right now – but your ex has already booked a vacation with their new partner and has said that they’re exclusive.
This is intense and it’s also very committed. But does it make sense?
Absolutely not.
Serious relationships take time and care. If your ex has already committed to their new partner and made lots of plans for the future, it’s another sign that it’s just a rebound.
5. They Have Downgraded From Their Usual Standards
Everyone has standards when they enter into a relationship. These are what help us to define boundaries and they ensure that a relationship is healthy and functional.
If your ex has suddenly lowered their standards for their new relationship, it’s probably because they’re not actually taking it that seriously. They don’t really see a future here but have instead dived into the first thing that came along so as to distract themselves from your breakup.
Therefore, they were willing to let a few standards slip just for the sake of being with someone.
6. This is a Pattern
If your ex struggles to be single and has pretty much been in a relationship with someone their whole adult life, it strongly suggests a pattern.
It means that they don’t know how to function by themselves and have to hop from relationship to relationship. This means there’s a very strong chance they will have a few casual relationships in their life.
So if your ex is the type to rush into new relationships (maybe they even rushed into yours), it could mean that their latest one is another rebound partner.
Now that we have discussed signs your ex is in a rebound relationship, it’s time to address other important questions that we get asked all the time.
How Long Do Rebound Relationships Last?
Most rebound relationships end after just three months, with many not even making it that far. Some will last as long as a year but some last just a few weeks.
They can’t last long because it’s not one based on true love and common interests. Instead, it’s largely based on lust and infatuation and once both of these emotions fade, the relationship reaches its natural conclusion.
Always remember that relationships get stronger and stronger when there is a deeper connection – which isn’t the case with rebounds.
Should You Get In Rebound Relationship Too?
At this point, you might think that a rebound relationship isn’t worth it. After all, it’s just a stop-gap between our previous relationship and the next long-term relationship, right?
Moreover, it masks the pain we felt when our relationship ended.
But while rebound relationships can be a waste of time in that they ultimately don’t lead anywhere, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have their uses.
In fact, rebound relationships can be a lot of fun. They can help you to get over your last relationship, take you out of yourself and introduce you to different perspectives.
Recent research has demonstrated that rebound relationships give us confidence and make us realize that perhaps we were even dating the wrong person last time. There are other people out there that might be better for us in the long run.
On the other hand, if you enter into a new relationship knowing that it’s a rebound, you also need to be careful not to hurt the other person who doesn’t know they’re just a rebound. As long as you’re cautious and don’t break their heart along the way, a rebound relationship can actually be quite healthy.
Do Rebounders Miss Their Ex?
Rebounders for sure miss their ex because they highly likely had a very loving relationship with them. Just because they’re already in a new relationship, it doesn’t mean that they’re over their previous partner. They are only pretending to over you to get under your skin and make you feel jealous.
This new relationship helps as a distraction and it can be a lot of fun. But it won’t be as deep as a relationship based on true love.
What’s more, a rebound relationship can make a person realize how good they had it in their past relationship.
That all said, there are two ways a person can feel at the end of a rebound relationship. They might still miss their ex but they might have gotten over them by now.
What To Do If Your Ex Is In a Rebound Relationship?
1. Implement the No Contact Rule
This means you never message them first and (ideally) block them on social media. This will give you the time and breathing space needed to properly get over them and heal.
It will also stop you from getting into messy arguments with them and upsetting your equilibrium.
2. Assess How Genuine Your Ex’s Feelings Are
If your ex is in a rebound relationship, it’s highly unlikely that they have genuine feelings for the other person. Or, at least, feelings that are based on true love and not lust and infatuation.
It’s still a good idea to give them enough time to process and develop their feelings. Don’t get involved but watch the situation from afar.
It might be the case that they’re using the relationship as a crutch because they still haven’t gotten over you.
3. Focus On Your Healing and Be Mysterious
If your ex is in a rebound relationship and it’s hurting you, it’s time to put yourself first. This means going dark on social media and focusing on the things that will actually help you and add value to your life.
Work out, eat healthily and read some self-improvement books (and listen to podcasts). Work on yourself privately and silently and maintain a distance from your ex.
4. Avoid Trying To Make Your Ex Feel Guilty
It can be so easy to guilt trip our ex when we feel as though they don’t care about our feelings at all anymore.
But guilt tripping is going to hurt them and you because it prevents you from moving forward.
Let go of negative energy, be the bigger person and leave them to their life. What’s more, if you try to make them feel guilty you will destroy any last remaining chance that the two of you might get back together later on down the line.
Takeaway:
So, these are the signs your ex is in a rebound relationship. If your ex is showing these signs, it can naturally be a difficult time for you. The two of you only just recently broke up and moved on so fast like you were nothing.
The most important thing you can do right now is shift your attention from them onto yourself. In other words, prioritize self-care and self-love.
Do the things that make you feel good about yourself. Go to the gym, work on your mind and body and – if possible – block them on social media.
Over time, things might work out differently. For now, let them be.
