Breakups can feel like emotional rollercoasters, especially when you’re practicing the No Contact rule. You’re wondering if he’s thinking about you, missing you, or regretting his choices. You’re tempted to check his social media, but you resist because you’re playing it cool. Meanwhile, you can’t help but wonder: Is he struggling without me?
The good news? If he truly cared about you, chances are, he’s feeling your absence. But instead of making assumptions, let’s talk about real signs that show he’s struggling—things that indicate he’s having a tough time dealing with the silence.
Here are seven signs to look out for (without breaking No Contact to confirm!).
1. He Suddenly Becomes Very Active on Social Media
You two break up, and suddenly, he’s posting non-stop? Red flag—or rather, a big neon sign flashing “I miss you!”
- If he was never the type to post much, but now he’s suddenly sharing selfies, gym progress pics, or deep, emotional song lyrics, he’s probably trying to get your attention.
- He might even post cryptic captions like “Some people don’t know what they have until it’s gone” (Oh really, Brad? We’re talking about “some people” now?)
Pro Tip:
Don’t fall for the bait! Stay strong and keep your social media moves calm and mysterious. Let him wonder what’s up with you.
2. He Tries to “Accidentally” Run Into You
If he starts popping up at your favorite coffee shop, gym, or local bookstore—places he never used to go before—it’s no coincidence. He might be hoping for a “random” run-in where he can act casual, but deep down, he’s hoping for a reaction from you.
- Did he suddenly start jogging in your neighborhood when he used to hate running?
- Is he showing up at mutual friends’ gatherings even though he always skipped them before?
If so, he’s struggling and looking for ways to reconnect—without actually breaking the No Contact himself.
3. He Drunk Texts or Calls You
Ah, the classic “I miss you” text at 2 AM. If he’s reaching out when his guard is down (a.k.a. after a couple of drinks), it’s a clear sign you’re on his mind.
- He might say something sweet like “Hope you’re doing okay” (Translation: I’m not doing okay without you).
- Or he might send a simple “Hey” (Translation: I want to talk, but I don’t know how to say it).
Pro Tip:
If you’re serious about No Contact, don’t reply—even if he sends a 3-page essay about how he’s realized his mistakes. Let him sit with his feelings.
4. He Asks Your Friends About You
When a guy is struggling but too proud to reach out, he takes the next best option: he asks your mutual friends about you.
- He might casually ask, “Hey, how’s [Your Name] doing?”
- Or he might dig deeper—asking if you’ve been dating someone new, if you seem happy, or if you’ve mentioned missing him.
This is his indirect way of checking if you’ve moved on without making himself too vulnerable.
Pro Tip:
If a mutual friend tells you he’s been asking about you, stay mysterious. The less he knows, the more he’ll wonder.
5. He Tries to Make You Jealous
If he suddenly starts posting pictures with other women, talking about “living his best life,” or acting overly flirty with random girls in public, he’s not over you—he’s trying to get a reaction.
But here’s the truth: If he were truly happy, he wouldn’t feel the need to prove it to you.
- If his “new girl” seems to be featured in every Instagram story, he might be overcompensating.
- If he’s suddenly hanging out with people he never liked before, it could be a distraction tactic.
Pro Tip:
Don’t take the bait! Jealousy is a mind game, and the best way to win is not to play.
6. He Still Hasn’t Moved On
One of the biggest signs he’s struggling without you? He hasn’t actually moved on.
- He’s not dating anyone seriously, despite acting like he’s “single and thriving.”
- He still hasn’t deleted your pictures from social media.
- He keeps wearing that hoodie you bought him, even though he has a closet full of others.
If a guy is really moving on, he wouldn’t be stuck in old habits that remind him of you.
Pro Tip:
Give him space to realize what he’s missing. If he truly wants you back, he’ll make a real effort—not just sulk in nostalgia.
7. He Reaches Out with an Excuse
Some guys can’t handle No Contact forever. When they’re really struggling, they’ll find an excuse to text you.
- “Hey, did I leave my hoodie at your place?” (That hoodie is long gone, buddy.)
- “I was just wondering if you ever got around to watching that show we talked about.” (Suddenly, he’s interested in your TV habits?)
- “Hope your dog is doing okay.” (Oh, so NOW you care about Mr. Snuggles?)
These small attempts at conversation are his way of testing the waters—seeing if you’re still open to talking.
Pro Tip:
If you’re not ready to respond, don’t. If he truly wants a real conversation, he’ll find a way to reach out without using excuses.
What Should You Do If You Notice These Signs?
So, what now? If you notice these signs, you have two choices:
- Stay strong and continue No Contact. If you want him to truly miss you, let him feel your absence.
- Decide if you actually want him back. Just because he’s struggling doesn’t mean you should run back to him. Make sure it’s what YOU want—not just a reaction to his behavior.
Final Takeaway:
The No Contact rule isn’t just about making him miss you—it’s about giving yourself space to heal and think clearly. If he’s really struggling without you, he’ll eventually have to face his feelings. And if he truly values you, he’ll make a real effort to come back—not just send late-night texts or play jealousy games.
Until then, focus on yourself. Because the best way to make him miss you? Live your best life without him.
4o
