Unless you understand men, you might find it hard to keep hold of one.
Or, at the very least, youāll drive yourself crazy during a relationship.
Take the no-contact rule, for example. When women go no contact with a man, the guy often comes back, even if it seemed like he was done with the relationship.
What gives?
Well, the no-contact rule is pretty simple: You go completely dark after a breakup, not sending your ex boyfriend any texts or calling him up.
When this happens, he tends to wonder what has happened to you, he starts missing you – and he comes back.
In this article, weāll be exploring the no contact period in more depth and showing you exactly why it works so well at getting a guy back.
But first lets discuss ā¦
How Long Does It Take a Guy To Realize He Wants You Back?
It can take a few weeks to couple of months for a guy to realise he wants you back Most guys cherish their freedom. So much so that itās like they canāt wait for a relationship to end! And yet when it does end, they eventually want their ex back.
This process of realization naturally varies from guy to guy but a general rule of thumb is that a man will start to feel the pangs of loneliness just two to four months after he left you.
At first, he might pretend heās okay without you. Heāll start doing āguy stuffā again, hanging with his buddies, watching sports and cruising the bars.
Before long, heāll realize that all of this is pretty empty stuff and that he misses having you in his life.
Some guys will live in denial for as long as they can and maybe theyāll hold out for a year. Eventually, even the most hardened, stoic of men will give in to regret and remorse – and theyāll want you back. Itās just human nature because humans arenāt really wired to be alone.
However, I want to emphasize on the fact that while you can expect your ex boyfriend to come back after no contact, it’s not guaranteed that it will happen.
Why Do Guys Come Back After No Contact?
1. He May Want to Get Closure After The Breakup
Not everyone wants closure – but some guys sure do.
Without closure, a man doesnāt really fully understand why their relationship ended. This can leave them feeling sad and confused and it can also leave them wondering āwhat if?ā
What if the two of you had done things differently? Would you still be together now?
These questions can grate on a manās mind because unless he knows why you broke up, heāll kick himself for the āstupidā things he did.
So if youāve gone dark and implemented the no-contact rule, thereās a chance heās spending a lot of time struggling to move on from you. He might not necessarily think he can get you back but he wants to make sure that you broke up for the right reasons and not because of something that could be fixed.
2. He Want to Get Back Together
Itās not unusual for a man to want to get back together with his ex after they broke up. In fact, itās pretty common, with research showing that as many as 50% of couples who break up reconcile.
This is why most common reason why men come back after no contact. But why would he want to reconcile after no contact? Especially if he was the one who broke it off?
It could be that your ex boyfriend has spent some time alone processing his thoughts and feelings about you and the relationship ā¦ and has now realized what heās given up. Heās not heard from you for so long – and that can really sting when he is used to hearing from you every day.
Sometimes, guys need to be apart from their woman in order to realize how much she means to them. They spend some time apart before realizing that, you know what? It was better when they were in a relationship.
So, it’s possible that your ex worked on his self confidence now finally coming back after to no contact to make the move on you.
3. He Genuinely Wants to Be Friends Again
A lot of people say that you shouldnāt be friends with an ex.
But why not?
One of the reasons being friends with an ex can work so well is that the two of you trust and know each other, which means you can rely on each other for help and support. This is the basis of a good friendship.
They have come back after no contact and now they want to be friends but why?
Your ex might have spent a lot of time alone now that youāve gone no contact and realized what a great person you were. He misses you, and he wants to see you again – but he’s also had time to realize that the two of you are better as friends.
Thereās nothing wrong with this if itās what the two of you want. Moreover, going no contact is a great way to transition from a relationship into friendship because itās natural that those emotions and feelings you once felt for each other will subside over time.
Once this has happened, your ex might decide to get in touch with you and see if the two of you can be just good friends.
4. He Is Missing The Physical Intimacy With You
This is another one of the most common reasons men come back after no contact. SEX!
If the two of you had an intense, physical relationship, itās highly unlikely that he was able to get over that super fast.
If one day the two of you were having regular sex and then the next you had broken up and gone no contact, he will naturally miss it.
As such, itās possible that now the two of you have spent some time apart, heās starting to miss being physically intimate with you. For him, intimacy might have been the key part of the long term relationship – and he wants it back.
So while he might not have plans to get back into a proper, full-time relationship with you just yet, he is yearning for you physically. This can cause him to come back into your life and ask what youāre up to.
5. He Feels Lonely And Experiences Nostalgia
- Do men get lonely after a relationship has ended?
- Do they feel nostalgia for the things you used to do together?
Of course they do.
Mental health goes for a toss after the breakup for everyone and men are no exception.
While he might have instigated the breakup, that doesnāt mean he wonāt eventually start to feel lonely and wistful for the way things used to be.
When you go no contact with him, you literally cut him out of your life. This might be what he wanted at the time – but that doesnāt mean it wonāt affect him in ways that he didnāt expect.
When heās left isolated from you and your shared memories, itās normal for a guy to start to miss you. Heāll think back to all the good times you had together and this will exacerbate his loneliness.
So if he comes back to you after no contact and starts saying things like āhey, remember that time we ā¦ā It could mean that heās started to feel nostalgic and wants to rekindle the romance a little.
6. He Wants To Know If You Still Have Feelings For Him
If he tries to communicate with you after youāve implemented the no-contact rule, it might be because he wants to know if you still have feelings for him.
This will happen if he still has strong feelings for you. Heās spent time away from you and heās probably been very frustrated that you havenāt texted or called.
And now that heās had time to process his own feelings for you and realized that theyāre still quite strong, he wants to know your own thoughts on the situation.
He might ask if youāre in a new relationship or he might tell you that he misses you in order to see if you say the same thing to him. It will give him some indication of how youāre feeling about him right now.
He might also ask if you want to hang out sometime.
This isnāt unusual because – as weāve seen – no contact with a man gives them a chance to realize how good they had it. They get time to think, to contemplate and to assess the situation.
And if itās dawned on him that he still has feelings for you, he will come back – but he wonāt commit fully until he knows your feelings.
7. He Just Couldnāt Move On
Surprise? No.
Men back after no contact when they couldn’t move on from they ex.
It sometimes happens that you can go no contact with a man and assume that thatās it – itās all over. You havenāt spoken for a few weeks or months and assume heās moved on from you.
Itās not always the case.
While no contact gives both of you the chance to move on, it doesnāt always work out. Instead, no contact can really frustrate a man and make things worse if heās unable to move on from you.
So what happens is that, after a few weeks or months of not hearing from you, heāll still be thinking about you and still be hoping that the two of you can reconcile. Heāll be wondering what youāre up to, who youāre hanging out with and whether or not youāre seeing someone.
Because heās unable to move on from the relationship – maybe because there was no closure or heās still in love with you – he will still come back even after no contact. Heāll be desperate to hear from you and learn what youāre getting up to.
If the two of you do resume contact and you tell him itās over for real, that could actually help him move on.
Now you know why men come back after no contact, let’s discuss some other important things.
When Should You Follow The No Contact Rule?
Thereās a right time and a wrong time to implement the no-contact rule. If you do this right, it could work in your favor to the point where he may want to come back after no contact.
Scenarios Where No Contact Rule Works:
The no-contact rule should be applied when youāve just broken up with your ex or when youāre trying to win them back.
For example, if you guys went through a particularly messy break-up and he said he doesnāt want to speak with you anymore, now is a good time to go dark for one or two months.
Or, if you two broke up but are still talking and itās going nowhere, you could apply the no-contact rule to see if it changes the way he feels about you.
On the other hand, if he reaches out to you or comes back after no contact, you shouldnāt apply the no-contact rule. Itās the same if your relationship had baggage and other people involved – such as a shared bank account or kids. In this situation, you shouldnāt apply it.
Effectiveness of the Rule in Various Situations:
The no-contact rule works best when youāve broken up with your ex and you both need time and space apart to process your feelings and emotions.
It can help you both decide whether you should resume the relationship, whether you should call it quits for good ā¦ or whether you could at least be friends.
I myself tried it with an ex and went 35 days without contacting them. It worked well because it gave us the opportunity to miss each other and realize what we truly wanted.
It also acts as a learning curve for the other person and teaches them that, should they want to be with you again, they must do better next time.
Summary:
If youāre missing your ex and want him back, the no-contact rule can work in your favor. The basic rule is simple: You donāt contact your ex for at least a month.
If he gets in touch with you, thatās fine. But you mustnāt text or call him first.
After a month, you can assess the situation and see where things stand. If heās missing you, if he wants you back or if he wants to know how you feel about him, he will reach out to you.
I know that going no contact can be tough. You miss him and want to hear from him.
This is why itās so important to spend the next month or so staying busy. Distract yourself with other people and other interests and refrain as much as you can from shooting him a quick message. Go radio silence for a few months it’s likely that your ex may back after no contact (given that he actually loves you.)
