Breakups are tough—whether you’re the one who ended things or not. But while some guys might put on a strong front, the truth is, many struggle behind the scenes. If you’ve noticed changes in his behavior and wonder if he’s having a hard time moving on, you’re in the right place.
Understanding the signs of heartbreak can give you clarity and help you decide how (or if) you want to support him. So, let’s dive into 20 heartfelt signs that he’s struggling after the breakup and what you can do about it.
1. He Keeps Reaching Out—A Lot
If he’s still texting, calling, or finding random reasons to talk to you (like asking about a show you watched together or checking on your dog), chances are he’s struggling.
How to Handle It: If you’re open to being friends eventually, set clear boundaries. If not, it’s okay to step back and let him heal.
2. He’s Posting Sad or Cryptic Messages
Suddenly, his social media is filled with sad song lyrics, deep quotes, or memes about heartbreak. Classic sign.
How to Handle It: If it’s making you uncomfortable, mute or unfollow him for a while. If you think he genuinely needs support, a quick check-in message won’t hurt.
3. He’s Avoiding Social Media Altogether
On the flip side, some guys disappear from social media entirely. If he’s gone radio silent, he might be processing the breakup alone.
How to Handle It: Give him space. If you were on good terms, a light-hearted message like, “Hey, haven’t seen you around—hope you’re doing okay!” can show you care without opening old wounds.
4. He Looks Like He Hasn’t Slept in Weeks
Dark circles, messy hair, and an overall “I just rolled out of bed” vibe? If he’s normally well-groomed but now looks like he’s starring in a breakup montage, he’s probably struggling.
How to Handle It: Remember, you’re not responsible for fixing him. But if you’re still in touch, encouraging him to take care of himself can be a kind gesture.
5. He’s Over-Posting About His “Amazing” Life
Suddenly, he’s out every night, partying, traveling, and living his “best life.” But if it feels a little forced, it probably is.
How to Handle It: Don’t engage. If you sense he’s trying to make you jealous, stay focused on your own healing.
6. Mutual Friends Say He’s Not Doing Well
If your mutual friends casually mention that he’s been withdrawn, drinking more than usual, or struggling with work, it’s a strong indicator he’s not handling the breakup well.
How to Handle It: If you’re concerned, a message of encouragement can be kind. But if you’ve moved on, trust that he’ll find his way.
7. He’s Suddenly a Gym Addict
Breakup transformations are real. If he’s now spending hours at the gym and posting shirtless selfies, he might be using exercise as a coping mechanism.
How to Handle It: Let him do his thing! Getting healthy is great, as long as it’s for the right reasons.
8. He Tries to Make You Jealous
Bragging about a new girl? Posting flirty comments on other people’s pictures? It’s possible he’s trying to get a reaction out of you.
How to Handle It: Don’t give in. If you’ve moved on, stay above the drama.
9. He Still Talks About You
If he’s still bringing you up in conversations with friends or even comparing new people to you, he’s clearly not over it.
How to Handle It: Give him time. Healing isn’t instant, and some people take longer than others.
10. He’s Avoiding Places You Used to Go Together
If he used to love a certain café but now refuses to step inside, it might be because it reminds him of you.
How to Handle It: This is his way of coping. Let him heal at his own pace.
11. He’s Keeping Tabs on You
If he’s still watching all your Instagram stories or casually asking mutual friends what you’re up to, he’s clearly curious (or still attached).
How to Handle It: If it bothers you, limit what he can see on social media. If not, let it be—he’ll move on in time.
12. He’s Becoming Overly Emotional
If he was never the emotional type but now gets sentimental over little things, he’s definitely struggling.
How to Handle It: It’s okay to acknowledge his feelings, but don’t let guilt make you feel responsible for his healing.
13. He’s Blaming Himself (or You)
Some guys internalize the breakup and blame themselves; others lash out and blame you. Either way, it’s a sign he hasn’t processed everything yet.
How to Handle It: If he’s being respectful, you can acknowledge his feelings. If he’s being unfair, it’s okay to disengage.
14. He’s Making Drastic Life Changes
New haircut, quitting his job, moving cities? These could be his way of dealing with the breakup pain.
How to Handle It: If he’s making positive changes, good for him. If it seems reckless, know that it’s part of his process.
15. He’s Trying to Reconnect
If he keeps finding excuses to run into you or messages “just to check in,” he’s struggling.
How to Handle It: If you want to be friends later, set clear boundaries. If you don’t, be direct but kind.
16. He’s Getting Into Rebound Relationships Fast
Jumping into a new relationship right after a breakup is often a way to fill the void.
How to Handle It: This isn’t about you—it’s about him trying to distract himself. Focus on your own healing.
17. He’s Apologizing for Everything
If he suddenly regrets everything and keeps apologizing, he’s feeling the weight of the breakup.
How to Handle It: If closure is needed, have a calm conversation. But don’t reopen doors you’ve closed.
18. He’s Romanticizing the Past
If he’s bringing up old memories like “Remember that time we…?” he’s stuck in nostalgia mode.
How to Handle It: Don’t get pulled into the past. Keep conversations neutral and future-focused.
19. He’s Struggling with Work or Studies
If he’s losing focus or underperforming at work or school, the breakup might be weighing on him.
How to Handle It: Encourage him (from a distance) to take care of himself and seek support.
20. He Admits He Misses You
The most obvious sign? He tells you directly that he misses you and regrets the breakup.
How to Handle It: If you’re open to rekindling things, take it slow. If you’ve moved on, be honest but kind.
Final Thoughts: Healing Takes Time
Breakups are hard on everyone, and while some people bounce back quickly, others take longer to process their emotions. If he’s showing signs of struggle, it’s okay to feel empathy—but remember, it’s not your job to fix him. Focus on your own healing, set boundaries where needed, and trust that time will do its job.
And who knows? Maybe one day, you’ll both look back and appreciate the growth that came from this experience. 💙
