Breakups are complicated. Sometimes, they end with both people genuinely moving on. Other times, one person may act like they have moved on while secretly holding onto the past. If your ex is showing signs of being totally over you but something feels off, chances are they are just pretending.
It is not always easy to tell if someone has truly moved on or if they are just putting on a show. Some people will go out of their way to make it look like they are happier than ever without you, while others will quietly hold onto the past while acting like they do not care. But actions speak louder than words, and if your ex is doing any of these ten things, they might not be as over you as they claim to be.
1. They Keep Bringing You Up in Conversations
If your ex constantly mentions you, even in casual conversations, they are not over it. Maybe they talk about things you used to do together, make comparisons between their new life and the one they had with you, or even bring you up negatively.
When someone has truly moved on, they do not feel the need to bring up their ex all the time. They live in the present and focus on what is ahead. If your name keeps popping up, it means you are still very much on their mind.
2. They Are Over-the-Top Happy on Social Media
A sudden flood of happy posts, vacation pictures, gym selfies, or “best life ever” captions can be a major sign that your ex is putting on a show.
Of course, people post about their lives online, and some genuinely do well after a breakup. But if they go from barely posting to constantly showing off their happiness, it might be a way to prove something—to you, to themselves, or to others.
A truly happy person does not need to convince the world that they are happy. But someone who is pretending to move on will make sure you see just how “great” they are doing.
3. They Rush Into a New Relationship
If your ex jumps into a new relationship immediately after breaking up, there is a good chance it is not about love—it is about distraction.
Rebound relationships happen when someone does not want to deal with the pain of a breakup, so they quickly latch onto someone else. The goal is to fill the emotional void rather than actually build something meaningful.
This is especially true if their new partner seems like the total opposite of you or if they flaunt the relationship too much. If your ex is moving too fast with someone new, they might be using that person as a way to avoid dealing with their feelings for you.
4. They Still Reach Out to You for Small Things
When someone has moved on, they stop finding excuses to talk to their ex. If your ex is still texting or calling you over random things—asking for your opinion on a TV show, reminding you of something from the past, or even pretending to need your help with something—they are not completely over it.
Even if they say they just want to be friendly, frequent contact shows that they are not ready to let go completely. Real closure comes when both people can live their lives without needing to check in with each other.
5. They Get Emotional When Talking About the Breakup
How does your ex react when the breakup comes up? If they act completely indifferent, they might have moved on. But if they show signs of anger, sadness, or bitterness, that is a different story.
Someone who is over a relationship can talk about it without strong emotions. But if your ex still seems upset or defensive when the breakup is mentioned, it means they still have unresolved feelings.
6. They Keep Tabs on You Through Friends or Social Media
If your ex is still keeping track of what you are doing, it is a clear sign they are not over you.
Maybe they ask mutual friends about you, or maybe they still like or watch your social media posts—even though they claim not to care. Some exes will even create fake accounts just to check up on you without you knowing.
Someone who has truly moved on does not need to monitor their ex’s life. If they are still curious about your every move, it is because they are not ready to let go.
7. They Try to Make You Jealous
If your ex goes out of their way to flaunt their new life, new relationship, or new success in front of you, they might be trying to get a reaction.
Some signs include:
- Posting pictures with attractive people right after the breakup
- Talking about how amazing their love life is now
- Showing up in places they know you will be, just to prove a point
A person who is truly happy does not need to prove anything to their ex. If they are trying too hard to make you jealous, it is because they still care about what you think.
8. They Act Hot and Cold
One day, your ex might be friendly and nostalgic. The next day, they are cold and distant. This back-and-forth behavior is a sign of inner conflict.
They might reach out, act like they miss you, then suddenly pull away again. Or they might act like they want to move on but still show signs of being emotionally attached.
This happens when someone is struggling with their feelings. They want to act like they are over it, but deep down, they are not ready to fully let go.
9. They Still Hold Onto Things from the Relationship
If your ex has truly moved on, they will start letting go of the past. But if they are still holding onto things that remind them of you, that is a different story.
Some signs include:
- Keeping gifts or sentimental items
- Refusing to delete old pictures of you together
- Still listening to “your song” or rewatching shows you used to love as a couple
Holding onto these things means they are not ready to let go of the memories. If they have not emotionally detached from the past, they have not fully moved on.
10. They React Strongly If They See You Moving On
The biggest sign that your ex is pretending to move on is how they react when they see you moving forward. If they truly do not care anymore, they will not have an emotional reaction.
But if they suddenly start acting differently—getting angry, reaching out unexpectedly, or making dramatic changes in their behavior—it is a sign that they are struggling with the idea of you moving on before them.
Some exes will even try to sabotage your new happiness by re-entering your life just to confuse you. If they cannot handle seeing you happy without them, it is because they are still emotionally invested.
Final Thoughts
Moving on is not just about saying you have moved on—it is about truly letting go and focusing on the future. If your ex is doing any of these things, they might not be as over it as they claim to be.
But here is the most important part: whether they have moved on or not does not change your journey. Your healing, growth, and happiness do not depend on them. Focus on yourself, keep moving forward, and remember that real closure comes from within.
If they are only pretending to move on, that is their battle to fight. Your only job is to make sure that you keep moving forward, for real.
4o
