Breakups are messy. One day, you’re laughing over inside jokes, and the next, you’re dissecting their one-word replies like a cryptographer. But here’s the thing—just because your ex isn’t texting you heart emojis anymore doesn’t mean they’ve fully moved on. Sometimes, they’re over it. Other times, they’re just… pissed.
So how do you tell the difference? Is their silence peaceful indifference or a storm brewing under the surface? If you’ve ever wondered whether your ex is truly over you or just holding onto some spicy resentment, this guide is for you. Let’s break it down.
They Don’t Respond… or Do They Respond Too Much?
A lack of response could mean they’ve moved on—but it could also mean they’re fuming in silence. If they ignore your texts but still view your stories within five seconds? Yeah, that’s not indifference, that’s anger with WiFi.
On the flip side, if they fire back with essays about how “they’re totally happy without you,” they might be trying a little too hard to convince both of you.
Pro Tip: If they’ve genuinely moved on, they won’t feel the need to prove it. Their responses (or lack thereof) will be neutral, not emotionally charged.
They’re Posting “Mysterious” Quotes
Ah, the classic breakup playlist of Instagram stories:
- “Some people will only love you as long as you fit in their box.”
- “Healing isn’t linear, but I am thriving.”
- “My enemies are praying for my downfall.”
Look, if your ex is still throwing shade through cryptic posts, they’re not over it—they’re in their Taylor Swift revenge era.
Pro Tip: People who have moved on don’t need to subtweet their ex. They’re too busy living life.
They’re Dating Someone New… and It Feels Performative
Rebound relationships are tricky. If they’re genuinely happy with someone new, great! But if they’re suddenly flaunting a new partner like a trophy, tagging them in every post, and making sure you see it? That’s not love, that’s marketing.
A telltale sign: Their new relationship seems like a highlight reel rather than something real.
Story Time: A friend of mine saw her ex post 17 pictures with a new girl in one week. Turns out, he kept checking her profile to see if she viewed them. Translation? He was definitely still mad.
They Bring You Up in Conversations (Even When They Don’t Have To)
If your name still comes up in casual conversations, they’re not as over it as they claim. It’s one thing for mutual friends to mention you, but if your ex is the one constantly dropping your name? Yeah, you’re still living rent-free in their mind.
Pro Tip: If they truly moved on, they wouldn’t feel the need to bring you up at all.
They Actively Avoid You
Indifference looks like moving on naturally. Avoidance looks like switching grocery stores just to avoid an accidental run-in.
If they go out of their way to dodge you, it’s not because they don’t care—it’s because seeing you still stirs up emotions (probably ones they don’t want to deal with).
Pro Tip: Someone who has moved on can handle seeing their ex without needing to disappear into the bushes like Homer Simpson.
They Unfollowed You (But Still Stalk You)
Blocking you outright? That’s emotional. Unfollowing but still watching every story? Even more emotional.
If they were truly over it, they wouldn’t care enough to monitor your online presence. But if they’re still creeping? Oof, they’re not over you or the breakup.
Their Friends Are Acting Weird Around You
If your ex’s friends suddenly act like you’re a ghost whenever you walk into the room, there’s a good chance they’ve been briefed. Maybe your ex told them to ignore you. Maybe they ranted about you over drinks last weekend. Either way, people who have no lingering feelings don’t need a “cut-them-off” strategy.
Story Time: A guy once told his entire friend group not to mention his ex at all—only for them to keep slipping up every five minutes. Clearly, he was still in his feelings.
They Try Too Hard to Prove They’re Happy
If they’re constantly posting about how amazing their life is now, they might be overcompensating. True happiness doesn’t need an audience—it just is.
Pro Tip: Watch their energy, not their Instagram. People who have moved on don’t need a PR campaign about it.
They’re Still Holding Onto Your Stuff
If they haven’t returned your hoodie, your books, or that random charger you left at their place, it could mean they’re still attached. Let’s be real—if they wanted it gone, it’d be gone.
Pro Tip: People who are truly over it either return your things or throw them away.
They Act Super Defensive When Your Name Comes Up
If their response to hearing about you is an aggressive “I don’t care what they do,” congrats! They still care. People who are over it don’t get defensive—they’re just unbothered.
They Drunk Text You
Alcohol lowers inhibitions, meaning if your ex is texting you at 2 AM, it’s probably because those buried feelings have resurfaced.
Pro Tip: Ignore the late-night “You up?” texts. They’re rarely about closure and usually about nostalgia.
They Seem Bitter About Your Success
If your ex reacts negatively to you thriving—whether it’s a new job, a new relationship, or just a great haircut—they’re not over it. A person who’s moved on doesn’t resent your glow-up.
They Make Everything a Competition
If they’re suddenly trying to “win” the breakup by flaunting their new life, they’re not past it—they’re just competitive. True peace doesn’t need a scoreboard.
They Try to Make You Jealous
Bringing a new date to a party they know you’ll be at? Posting about how “happy and in love” they are moments after you post something? That’s strategy, not sincerity.
They Haven’t Given Themselves Time to Heal
Jumping from one intense emotion to another doesn’t mean they’re over it—it means they’re avoiding healing. And unresolved feelings have a way of creeping back up.
Final Takeaway: Read Between the Lines
At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words. If your ex is cool, collected, and genuinely unbothered? They’ve moved on. But if they’re still throwing shade, avoiding you, or trying too hard to prove they’re happy without you? There’s a good chance they’re still dealing with something.
And hey, that’s not your problem to fix. Whether they’re over it or just pissed, the best thing you can do is focus on your happiness. Because the real flex? Moving on for real—without needing to prove anything.
