Breakups are tough. Whether it’s your first or your fiftieth, the emotional rollercoaster that follows is never easy. You may find yourself questioning everything — from what went wrong to why you’re still holding on. But eventually, there comes a time when you realize that it’s time to let go. In this article, I’m going to take you through the journey of accepting that we were over, and I’ll offer you practical tips for finding closure and moving on.
The Moment It Hit Me
I remember the moment it all hit me. It wasn’t during the dramatic argument, the breakup conversation, or the days of sulking. It came when I found myself scrolling through old photos of us, reminiscing about our inside jokes and shared memories. A tiny voice inside whispered, “It’s time.”
Realizing that a relationship has truly ended is a lot like waking up from a dream. You suddenly see things clearly, and it hurts, but it also opens the door to moving forward.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first step to moving on is acknowledging that it hurts. Denying your emotions won’t make them go away. It’s okay to feel sadness, frustration, or even anger. But here’s the thing: don’t let these emotions define you. Feel them, process them, then take a deep breath and remind yourself that this is part of the healing journey.
Pro Tip: Write down what you feel. Journaling can help you understand your emotions more clearly. Plus, you’ll have a written record of how far you’ve come when you look back!
2. Let Go of the “What Ifs”
You’ll catch yourself wondering “What if I had done this differently?” or “What if we had tried harder?” Those questions are like quicksand, pulling you deeper into regret. The truth? You can’t change the past. The best thing you can do is learn from it and use those lessons to improve yourself and your future relationships.
Example: I found myself replaying conversations in my head, trying to figure out where I went wrong. Instead of focusing on the “what ifs,” I started focusing on the “what’s next” — and that’s when I started healing.
3. Avoid Contact (At Least For a While)
You may think staying in touch is a good idea because you want to stay friends or because you’re hoping for closure. But honestly? It’s usually not helpful. Constant contact will only prolong the healing process.
Give yourself the space you need to move on. The “we can still be friends” idea might seem tempting, but it’s often a false hope. Take time for yourself, and if and when you’re ready, you can reassess the relationship later.
4. Surround Yourself With Supportive People
During this time, lean on your friends and family. They’re your safety net, offering the comfort and perspective you need to keep going. And if they happen to bring you ice cream and a bad rom-com to watch, even better!
Pro Tip: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes just talking it out with someone can make all the difference.
5. Focus on Self-Care
When you’re going through a breakup, it’s easy to forget about yourself. But this is the time to pour all that love and care into yourself. Get enough sleep, eat well, take walks, and maybe even treat yourself to a spa day or a new pair of shoes — whatever makes you feel good!
Real Talk: It’s not selfish to prioritize your well-being. After all, you deserve to feel your best after an emotional upheaval.
6. Start New Hobbies or Revive Old Passions
A breakup can feel like the end of a chapter in your life, but it’s also a chance for a new beginning. Start something new or rediscover hobbies you may have put aside while in the relationship. Whether it’s painting, cooking, or taking up yoga, filling your life with fresh experiences can give you a sense of purpose and joy.
Example: I took up painting again. It was something I used to love but had forgotten about. Not only did it give me an outlet for my emotions, but it also reminded me that I am capable of creating beautiful things — even if they’re just splashes of color on a canvas.
7. Declutter Your Space
It’s hard to move on when every corner of your home is filled with reminders of your past relationship. Clear out the clutter — physically and emotionally. Remove items that trigger painful memories, and create a space that feels fresh and aligned with who you are now.
Pro Tip: You don’t have to throw everything away. Just put some things in a box and store them away until you’re ready to face them again.
8. Don’t Rush Into Another Relationship
It’s tempting to find someone new right away to fill the void. But rushing into another relationship won’t give you the time you need to heal. Take the time to focus on yourself first.
Example: After my breakup, I promised myself I wouldn’t date anyone for at least six months. It was tough at first, but I used that time to rediscover what I really wanted in a relationship — and in life.
9. Practice Gratitude
It may seem counterintuitive to feel grateful after a breakup, but hear me out. Even though it was tough, there were lessons and experiences in the relationship that you can appreciate. Maybe it taught you about love, communication, or even self-respect. Gratitude shifts your perspective, helping you see the good in the situation.
Pro Tip: Every day, list three things you’re grateful for. It can be anything — big or small. This simple practice helps you stay focused on the positive, even when everything feels overwhelming.
10. Embrace the Pain (But Don’t Let It Control You)
I won’t sugarcoat it: breakups hurt. But the more you try to ignore the pain, the longer it lingers. Instead, allow yourself to feel it. Cry when you need to, scream if it helps. The pain will eventually fade, and you’ll emerge stronger than before.
Real Talk: You’re not weak for feeling pain; you’re human. Let the emotions come, let them pass, and then take the next step forward.
11. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
Breakups often leave us feeling stuck in our own little bubble. But stepping outside your comfort zone is an essential part of moving on. Try new activities, visit new places, and meet new people. You never know what you might discover about yourself.
Example: I went on a solo trip after my breakup. It was terrifying at first, but I ended up having the best time, learning new things, and finding new strengths within myself.
12. Create New Traditions
After a breakup, some traditions or routines may feel too painful to keep. Instead of holding onto what no longer serves you, create new rituals. This could be a weekly dinner with friends or a monthly solo adventure to a new spot in town.
Pro Tip: New traditions can help you move away from the old relationship and create space for new, fulfilling experiences.
13. Forgive Yourself
It’s easy to blame yourself for the breakup. “I should’ve done this, or I should’ve said that.” But here’s the truth: relationships are complex, and both people contribute to their dynamics. Don’t carry the weight of guilt on your shoulders. You’re allowed to make mistakes and learn from them.
Real Talk: Be kind to yourself. You didn’t fail — you just grew.
14. Remember That Time Heals All Wounds
It sounds cliché, but time really does heal. You may not feel it right now, but with each passing day, the pain will lessen. Give yourself the gift of time, and be patient with your healing process.
Pro Tip: Don’t put a deadline on your healing. There’s no “right” amount of time to get over someone. Go at your own pace.
15. Visualize Your Future
Looking ahead can be a powerful tool for healing. Picture your life without the relationship — and imagine all the exciting possibilities that lie ahead. Whether it’s a new career, a new city, or even a new chapter in your love life, envisioning the future can help you leave the past behind.
Example: I started to visualize myself living my best life: traveling, growing my career, and meeting new people. That vision kept me motivated during the tough days.
Conclusion: Embrace the New You
Breakups are a challenge, but they don’t define you. You are not the sum of your past relationship. You are a person with dreams, desires, and an incredible future waiting for you. Take the lessons you’ve learned, grow from them, and embrace the new you that’s ready to take on the world.
Remember, healing isn’t linear. Some days will feel easier than others, and that’s okay. Just keep moving forward, and soon you’ll find that you’ve not only healed — you’ve become even stronger than you were before.
