Your phone buzzes. You glance at the screen. It’s them—your ex.
Cue the heart racing, the mental spiral, and the immediate urge to craft the perfect response. Should you be chill? Witty? Indifferent? Or should you ignore them altogether?
Take a deep breath. Before you fire off a reply (or worse, double-text in a moment of weakness), let’s talk about the five deadliest texting mistakes you absolutely must avoid when your ex reaches out. Because trust me, one wrong move could drag you into a mess you don’t need.
1. Responding Too Quickly (a.k.a. The Desperate Reflex)
When your ex texts you, your first instinct might be to reply instantly—after all, you’ve been waiting for this moment, right? Wrong.
Responding too fast gives off two very dangerous vibes:
- You’ve been sitting around hoping they’d text.
- You’re still emotionally available to them.
Neither of these plays in your favor, especially if the breakup was messy or you’re trying to move on. Instead of impulse-texting back, pause. Take your time. Think about what you actually want from this conversation—if anything.
Pro move: Wait at least as long as they took to text you, if not longer. If they texted late at night or after weeks of silence? Even more reason to hold off.
2. Oversharing Your Life Updates
You might feel the urge to flex on your ex—telling them how amazing your life is, how much you’ve grown, and how you’re totally thriving without them. While this is tempting, it’s also a trap.
Why? Because the second you start unloading personal details, your ex knows:
- You still care what they think.
- They still have an emotional hook in you.
- They can reel you back in if they want.
Even if you genuinely are living your best life, keep it light. A simple “Things are going well, hope you’re good too” works just fine.
Pro move: If they ask how you’re doing, flip the script and keep it vague. Something like, “Just been busy with a lot of good stuff, how about you?” keeps the power in your hands.
3. Taking the Bait (a.k.a. The Emotional Trap)
Exes have a way of knowing exactly what buttons to push. They might:
- Apologize for the past (just enough to keep you engaged).
- Bring up old memories to spark nostalgia.
- Say they “miss you” or “think about you a lot.”
- Pretend like nothing happened and act casual.
It’s so easy to fall into these traps and start reminiscing, getting emotional, or worse—catching feelings all over again.
But let’s be real: If they genuinely regretted losing you, they wouldn’t just be sending a half-hearted text. They’d be putting in real effort to make things right.
Pro move: If they throw emotional bait at you, don’t bite. A short, neutral response (or none at all) keeps you from getting pulled back into the drama.
4. Agreeing to Meet Up Too Fast
Your ex casually throws out, “We should catch up sometime.”
Your brain floods with memories. Late-night talks. Inside jokes. Maybe even a little hope that this time things could be different.
STOP.
Before you agree to meet, ask yourself:
- Why do they suddenly want to see me?
- What do I actually want from this?
- Would meeting up help me move forward, or pull me backward?
Exes don’t just randomly pop up. There’s always a reason—boredom, loneliness, curiosity, or even just a desire to test if they still have control over you. Don’t make it too easy for them.
Pro move: If you are open to meeting, take control. Suggest a neutral, daytime setting and don’t make it seem like you’re clearing your schedule for them. Keep it casual, not an emotional reunion.
5. Letting Them Back In Without a Game Plan
Maybe your ex texts you with a heartfelt apology. Maybe they seem genuinely different this time. Maybe you still have unresolved feelings.
Before you even consider letting them back into your life, ask yourself: What has actually changed?
Are they showing real, consistent change? Or is this just a temporary nostalgia trip? If you’re not careful, you could find yourself in the same painful cycle all over again.
Pro move: Set clear boundaries. If you want to keep the door open, be upfront about your expectations. If you know getting back with them is a bad idea, stay strong and walk away.
Final Thoughts: Play It Smart, Not Emotional
When your ex texts you, it’s easy to get caught up in old emotions. But remember: Just because they hit you up doesn’t mean they deserve access to you.
The smartest move? Keep your cool. Don’t overshare. Don’t fall into old patterns. And most importantly—don’t let them disrupt your peace.
If they left your life, there was a reason. Make sure that if they come back, it’s on your terms—not theirs.
4o
