25 Subtle (and Not-So-Subtle) Signs Your Ex Secretly Wants You Back

Breakups are tough. One minute, you’re binge-watching shows together, and the next, you’re debating whether to block them or “accidentally” like their Instagram post from 2017. But what if your ex isn’t entirely over you?

Sometimes, exes send mixed signals—liking your posts, showing up where you are, or texting at odd hours. Are they just being friendly, or is there something more? If you’re wondering whether your ex secretly wants you back, this list will help you decode their actions.

Here are 25 telltale signs—some subtle, some glaringly obvious—that your ex might still have feelings for you.

1. They Keep “Randomly” Texting You

If your ex keeps sliding into your DMs with “Hey, just saw this meme and thought of you,” it’s probably not random. They’re looking for an excuse to talk. Casual check-ins often mean they’re testing the waters to see if you’re still interested.

Pro Tip: If they’re consistently reaching out, especially late at night, they might be reminiscing about your relationship.


2. They Bring Up Inside Jokes

Remember that time you both laughed so hard at an awful movie? If they keep referencing old jokes or shared memories, it’s a clear sign they miss the connection.


3. They Haven’t Moved On (Or They Jump Into a Rebound)

If your ex is still single months later or dating someone who suspiciously looks like you, they might not be over you. On the flip side, if they rushed into a rebound relationship, it could be a distraction from missing you.

Example: Jake broke up with Maya and immediately started dating someone new. But he kept comparing his new girlfriend to Maya, which was a dead giveaway that he wasn’t over her.


4. They Get Jealous When You Mention Someone Else

If your ex suddenly gets defensive or tries to downplay your new love interest, they might still have feelings. Jealousy is a strong indicator that they care more than they’re letting on.

Pro Tip: Notice their body language. A forced smile or a tense reaction when you talk about someone new is a big clue.


5. They Keep Asking Your Friends About You

If your friends keep reporting that your ex is asking about you, chances are they still care. Whether it’s a casual “How’s Alex doing?” or full-on investigation mode, it means you’re still on their mind.


6. They Like (or Comment on) Your Old Social Media Posts

If they suddenly start liking pictures from two years ago, they’re either reminiscing or just got caught in a deep scroll. Either way, it means they’ve been thinking about you.


7. They Show Up Where You Are

You haven’t seen them in months, but now they “randomly” appear at your favorite coffee shop? Coincidence? Probably not. If they suddenly start showing up at places you frequent, they’re hoping for a casual run-in.

Example: Sarah noticed her ex, Liam, started going to her gym, even though he used to hate working out. Suspicious? Absolutely.


8. They Get Nostalgic About the Relationship

If they start saying things like “Remember when we used to…?” or “I really miss those late-night talks,” they’re not just reminiscing—they’re hinting.


9. They Drunk Text or Call You

Alcohol has a way of lowering inhibitions, and if your ex reaches out after a few drinks, it usually means they’ve been thinking about you. Drunk texts like “I miss us” or “I made a mistake” aren’t just random.


10. They Make Excuses to See You

Whether it’s returning an old hoodie or asking for help with something trivial, if they keep finding reasons to meet up, they might not be ready to let go.


11. They Keep Tabs on Your Life

If they somehow know about your recent trip or new job without you telling them, they’re probably keeping an eye on you through mutual friends or social media.


12. They Try to Make You Jealous

If they suddenly start posting pictures with attractive people or bragging about their amazing new life, they might be hoping for a reaction from you.


13. They Apologize for Past Mistakes

If your ex reaches out to apologize for how things ended, it could be genuine growth—or a way to reopen communication. Either way, it shows you’re still on their mind.


14. They Act Nervous or Awkward Around You

If they were over you, they’d be calm and composed. But if they act weird, fidgety, or overly chatty when they see you, it means they’re still emotionally invested.


15. They Haven’t Returned Your Stuff (or Keep Yours)

Holding onto your sweatshirt or your favorite book isn’t just forgetfulness—it’s sentimental attachment. If they haven’t given back your things, they might not be ready to let go.


16. They Reconnect with Your Family or Friends

If they’re still chatting with your mom or hanging out with your friends, it could be a sign they’re keeping the door open for a possible reconciliation.


17. They Try to Impress You

If your ex suddenly starts posting gym selfies or talking about their exciting new life, they might be subtly trying to show you what you’re missing.


18. They Reach Out on Special Occasions

A simple “Happy Birthday” or “Merry Christmas” might seem innocent, but if they’re always reaching out on important dates, they’re keeping the connection alive.


19. They Openly Admit They Miss You

Sometimes, exes stop playing games and just come out with it: “I miss you.” If they say it directly, believe them.


20. They Ask If You’re Seeing Someone

If they’re curious about your love life, it’s because they want to know if they still have a shot.


21. They Seem Happier Around You

If their whole demeanor changes when they see you—big smiles, extra enthusiasm—they probably still have feelings.


22. They Initiate Deep Conversations

If they’re suddenly asking deep, meaningful questions about life, love, and what went wrong, they might be considering a second chance.


23. They Bring Up “What If” Scenarios

Sentences like “What if we had met at a different time?” or “Do you ever think about us getting back together?” are major clues that they’re still attached.


24. They Still Call You by Your Pet Name

If they keep using your old nickname, it shows they’re still emotionally attached.


25. They Tell You They Regret Breaking Up

This one’s as obvious as it gets. If they say they regret the breakup, they want you back—plain and simple.


Final Thoughts: Should You Get Back Together?

So, your ex might want you back. But the real question is—do you want them back?

Before jumping back in, ask yourself:

  • Have they really changed, or is this just nostalgia?
  • Were the reasons for the breakup fixable?
  • Do you feel happier with or without them?

If you’re unsure, take your time. And remember—just because an ex wants you back doesn’t mean you have to say yes. Trust your instincts, focus on your happiness, and do what feels right for you.

Whatever happens, you’ve got this!

RUP Team
About RUP Team

The RUP Team is a passionate group of relationship experts dedicated to helping you understand love and relationships. As a team, we provide insightful dating advice, practical relationship tips, and a range of content to help you build stronger, healthier connections. Let the RelationUp Team be your guide for improving communication, strengthening bonds, and finding love.

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