Dear Brave Soul,
First, let me tell you this: you are not alone. Every single wound you carry is proof of your strength. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now. The world may seem dim, your reflection unrecognizable, and your heart heavier than it’s ever been. But you, yes YOU, are far stronger than the person you think you lost yourself to.
This is an open letter to remind you of your worth, your beauty, and your unbreakable spirit. It’s not just a call to heal but a step towards rediscovering the woman you’ve always been—the one they tried to suppress, manipulate, and control.
Narcissists Don’t Love; They Conquer
Let’s rip off the Band-Aid: a narcissist doesn’t love in the way you thought they did. They love the idea of control, the rush of domination, and the reflection of themselves in your adoration.
At first, it felt magical. They swept you off your feet with grand gestures, intense compliments, and promises that felt like dreams come true. The way they looked at you, the way they spoke—oh, it was intoxicating. You believed you had found your soulmate.
But then came the shift. The once-charming words turned into biting criticism. The affection you received became conditional, based on their needs, moods, and whims. You weren’t a partner anymore; you became a mirror reflecting only what they wanted to see.
Here’s the truth: it was never about you. Their manipulation, gaslighting, and need to control stem from their own insecurities. The person you loved never really existed. They were a facade designed to lure you in.
Losing Yourself Wasn’t Your Fault
This part is crucial. Let me say it again louder: it wasn’t your fault.
Narcissists are masters of manipulation. They know how to twist your words, isolate you from loved ones, and make you question your reality. They use love as a weapon, promising it in one moment and withholding it in the next. You weren’t weak; you were human.
Their greatest trick was making you believe their behavior was your fault. They wanted you to think, “Maybe if I were better, they’d love me more,” or, “If I change, they’ll stop hurting me.” That’s the trap they set—the cycle they thrived on.
Breaking free starts with realizing this: nothing you did or could’ve done would ever have been enough for them. It wasn’t you; it was them.
Also Read: 10 Hidden Traits of a Cold-Hearted Man Every Woman Should Know
The Cost of Loving a Narcissist
You lost more than just time in that relationship—you lost pieces of yourself.
You lost the way you used to laugh freely without wondering if you’d be judged. You lost confidence in your decisions, doubting your ability to do anything right. You lost relationships with friends and family because the narcissist convinced you they weren’t good for you. Worst of all, you lost sight of the person you were before they came along.
And that hurts. But here’s something important to remember: what’s lost can be found again.
Healing Is Messy but Necessary
The path to healing isn’t linear. Some days, you’ll feel like you’ve moved on, only to find yourself crying over a random memory the next. And that’s okay.
Healing is messy. It’s not about “getting over it” or forgetting what happened. It’s about acknowledging the pain, giving yourself grace, and slowly rebuilding the life they tried to dismantle.
Start small. Write down the things you loved about yourself before the relationship. Was it your creativity? Your kindness? Your adventurous spirit? Those parts of you are still there, waiting for you to reclaim them.
Surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally. The friends who make you laugh until your stomach hurts. The family members who remind you of who you were before the narcissist entered your life. Let their love be the salve to your wounds.
Reclaiming Your Power
Reclaiming your power means rewriting the narrative they tried to impose on you. They made you believe you weren’t enough. It’s time to show yourself you always were.
Set boundaries, not just with others but with yourself. Stop entertaining thoughts like, “Maybe they’ll change,” or, “I wasn’t good enough.” You are more than enough. The problem wasn’t your worth; it was their inability to see it.
Dive into things that make your soul happy. Pick up that hobby you abandoned. Travel to the places you’ve always dreamed of. Rediscover your passions and let them fuel your healing.
From Surviving to Thriving
There will come a day when you no longer feel the weight of their influence. When their voice no longer echoes in your mind, and their actions no longer define your self-worth. That’s when you’ll realize: you’ve gone from surviving to thriving.
You’ll laugh again—not the cautious kind you learned in their presence but a full-bodied, genuine laugh. You’ll love again, but this time with someone who lifts you up rather than tears you down. Most importantly, you’ll love yourself in a way you never thought possible.
Thriving means using your story not as a crutch but as a stepping stone. It means embracing your scars as proof of your resilience. It means becoming the woman you were always meant to be—strong, radiant, and unapologetically you.
To the Girl Who Feels Lost
If you take one thing away from this letter, let it be this: you are not defined by the person who hurt you.
You are not broken. You are not weak. You are not unworthy.
You are a survivor. A warrior. A beacon of hope for every girl who has ever felt the same pain you do now.
Take this letter as a reminder that the storm will pass. The sun will rise. And when it does, you’ll see the world—and yourself—in a completely new light.
You are enough. You always were. And now, you’re on the path to discovering just how incredible you’ve been all along.
With love,
Someone Who’s Been There
Also Read: 10 Skills to Move On from Your Ex Instantly
