Ever found yourself in a conversation where the person you’re speaking to is more focused on themselves than on you? If you feel like you’re doing all the talking, or that your thoughts, feelings, or experiences aren’t being heard, you might be dealing with what’s known as a conversational narcissist.
But what does it mean to be a conversational narcissist? Simply put, it’s someone who dominates a conversation by making everything about themselves, showing little interest in what others have to say. It’s a form of narcissism, where the focus is shifted away from the other person’s thoughts and feelings, leaving them feeling unseen or unheard.
In this article, we’ll walk through the five key signs of a conversational narcissist. Understanding these can help you navigate tricky social situations and maintain healthy, balanced conversations. So, let’s dive in!
1. They Constantly Shift the Focus Back to Themselves
Have you ever shared something personal with someone, only for them to quickly steer the conversation back to their own life? If so, you’ve encountered one of the most glaring traits of a conversational narcissist: a tendency to monopolize the spotlight.
A narcissist loves being the center of attention. So, even when you’re talking about something important to you, they’ll find a way to pivot back to themselves. For example, if you’re talking about a recent vacation, they might interrupt to talk about their last exotic trip or how they are planning their next one. Instead of engaging with your story, they make sure the narrative revolves around their own experiences.
This constant redirection can feel exhausting because it’s as if they are saying, “What you’re talking about doesn’t matter as much as what I have to say.”
How to Deal With It:
If you find this happening often, you can politely steer the conversation back to your experience. You might say something like, “I’d love to hear more about your trip, but I wanted to finish telling you about mine first.” This subtly sets a boundary while keeping the conversation balanced.
2. They Talk Over You (Or Interrupt Constantly)
A conversational narcissist often doesn’t allow you the space to finish your thoughts. They jump in mid-sentence, finish your sentences for you, or even interrupt with their own opinions. This behavior is not only disrespectful but also dismissive of your thoughts and ideas.
When someone constantly talks over you, they’re signaling that their words are more important than yours. They might even interrupt because they feel the need to dominate the conversation or because they believe their input is always superior.
How to Deal With It:
If you’re dealing with someone who interrupts frequently, be firm but polite in asserting your right to speak. A gentle, “I wasn’t finished,” can help make it clear that you need the space to express yourself. If they continue to interrupt, it may be a sign that they are simply uninterested in hearing your side of the conversation.
3. They Seek Validation Constantly
A conversational narcissist thrives on validation and admiration from others. When they speak, they often fish for compliments or praise, sometimes even without realizing it. They might drop names, boast about their accomplishments, or talk about their skills or achievements in ways that seem designed to elicit admiration.
For instance, they might say, “I just got back from this huge meeting with a big client – it’s been such a hectic week. But, you know, I’ve been handling it like a pro,” expecting you to acknowledge how great they are.
This behavior can be exhausting because it feels like they are looking for constant reassurance that they are important, impressive, or special.
How to Deal With It:
While it’s important to be empathetic and acknowledge people’s achievements, if you find this behavior happening regularly, you might want to gently redirect the conversation. “That sounds like a lot! It must be great to work with such important clients. Have you had a chance to relax recently?” This shows interest in their life while gently encouraging a more balanced conversation.
Also Read: Divorce with a Narcissist: Tactics They Use and How to Counter Them
4. They Lack Empathy and Don’t Ask About You
One of the most telling signs of a conversational narcissist is their inability to engage with you on an emotional level. While they talk about themselves, they rarely show genuine curiosity or interest in your feelings or experiences.
A narcissistic conversationalist will often gloss over what you say, responding in ways that shift the focus back to them. For instance, you might share a personal struggle, and instead of offering support or understanding, they quickly turn the conversation to their own hardships or experiences that are somehow “worse” than yours.
How to Deal With It:
If you notice that the conversation feels one-sided and you’re always the one giving emotional labor without receiving any in return, it might be worth addressing it. You could say something like, “I appreciate that you’re telling me about your experience, but I’d love to hear what you think about my situation too.” This can help bring balance back into the conversation, although some narcissists may not be receptive to this.
5. They Use Your Conversations as a Platform for Their Ego Boost
For a conversational narcissist, a conversation is not a two-way exchange but rather a stage for displaying their expertise or superiority. They often use dialogue as an opportunity to show how much they know or how important they are. This can manifest in subtle (or not-so-subtle) ways, like name-dropping, exaggerating their accomplishments, or belittling others to make themselves appear more impressive.
For example, if you’re discussing a project at work, a narcissist might say, “I’ve been running multi-million dollar campaigns for years. The way you’re approaching this project is cute, but here’s the real way to do it…” This move is designed to make you feel inferior while inflating their sense of importance.
How to Deal With It:
If you find yourself being belittled or dismissed in conversations like this, it’s essential to recognize that it’s not a reflection of your worth. Respond with confidence, but also don’t be afraid to set boundaries. You can say, “I see you have a lot of experience, but I’m sure we can find ways to bring our strengths together,” which redirects the conversation back to a more balanced tone.
Conclusion: Why Conversations Matter
Conversations are essential in building relationships and fostering meaningful connections. They allow us to share experiences, express emotions, and learn from each other. However, when a conversation becomes a one-sided exchange where one person dominates the discussion and disregards the thoughts and feelings of others, it can feel frustrating and draining.
If you recognize any of the signs of a conversational narcissist in your interactions, it’s essential to establish boundaries and communicate openly. Remember, your voice matters just as much as anyone else’s, and a healthy conversation should be built on mutual respect and understanding.
By understanding the behavior of a conversational narcissist, you can protect yourself from falling into one-sided discussions while also fostering more engaging, empathetic dialogues with others. Keep an eye out for these signs, and take control of your conversations to ensure that they remain enjoyable, balanced, and enriching.
Also Read: Narcissism and Parental Alienation: The Hidden Damage to Families
