You’ve been dating for a little while now and things are going smoothly. You’re having fun letting it unfold, but the question of where this is going is starting to creep into your mind. How can you tell that this will materialize into a real relationship and not fizzle out in a flash like so many others have? Here are some signs to look out for:
1. He tries to include you in his personal interests and hobbies. If he’s teaching you how to play golf instead of using “golf with the guys” as an escape route Sunday morning to crawl out from under your covers at the crack of dawn, he’s serious. If he’s showing you what’s under the hood of the car he’s restoring and taking you to auto shows, that’s a good thing. He sees you as a keeper and is trying to include you in his favorite activities.
2. He wants you to meet his family and friends. When a guy brings a girl home to meet his mom or when he wants to know what his buddies think of his gal, those are good signs. It means you’re not just any girl, you’re worth showing off, and he wants to see how you fit in with the people most important in his life. Also, before he makes that big jump to the next level, he wants to get input from his nearest and dearest.
3. He wants to meet your family. This one is especially important because a guy who’s not into you or is just using you for sex, doesn’t even want to see your mom, and especially not, your dad. He wants to stay away from anyone who might lift a suspicious eyebrow at him and wonder what his intentions are with you.
4. He plans a vacation. If your man is talking about purchasing plane tickets or renting rooms and rental cars 3 to 6 months from now, he’s probably not going anywhere. So yes, planning a trip to Cabo with him is probably not just a trip to Cabo. It’s a sign he plans to stick around.
5. He hints about a real future together. If your sweetheart makes reference to living together someday, getting a dog or even noting that you would be great with kids, you can be pretty sure count on the fact that this is not a fling. Guys don’t usually throw those words around lightly.
6. He connects with you on a daily basis. A guy who’s serious about you does not want a whole day to go by without hearing from you so he checks in. And if he can’t, he lets you know that too. Most importantly, he does this because he wants to, not because he thinks he’ll be in trouble if he doesn’t.
Sometimes, you get nervous about where a relationship is going. You want to let it develop organically and avoid having the “where are we going” discussion. So, it is nice to have some reassurance. If these things are happening in your relationship, you can feel good about the direction it’s taking.
Written by Carla Litto, MA in Marriage and Family Therapy